recovering at home

I'm finally at home, recovering.  I'm so tired, though.  I didn't get any sleep in the hospital, so all I want to do now is sleep.  The nurse came and was trying to clean the trach, twisted it, and I threw up all over the place, over and over.  It was horrible.  It was like she triggered my gag reflex, and then couldn't get it back into place.  I think I'll clean it myself from now on.  Or let Ken do it.  He was watching her and knew exactly what happened.  So that was fun for my first day home.  I go back to the doctor next Tuesday, and they will do a swallow test to make sure the surgical site is airtight before they take out the trache.  It's very disconcerting to have this thing sticking out of my throat. Cody seems very scared to be near me, and that doesn't feel very good either.  It will be nice when I can snuggle with everyone again.  Please continue to pray for us, that all the surgery sites heal up, and that I will be able to continue my life as a wife, mother, sister, daughter.

God is love.