I'm sorry

I should be posting more often.  And I promise I will.  But quick: I can't focus on cancer anymore.

I did not have to start chemo, thank the Lord.  When I went back to the doctor, I hadn't lost any more weight, and my calcium was down again, so...  no chemo!  So I immediately went and got my hair did, since I wasn't going to lose it again.

However, I did have to take the daughter to ER last night, and her work had to call 911 for her this morning.  She has MRSA, and gets big, painful lesions.  She has eczema, so her skin is always dry and cracked, which is how she got MRSA.  Google it.  She's home now, sleeping.  And I'm going to take a nap.

As for me, when I get out of bed, I tell myself "I don't have cancer."  No one can believe I do by the way I look and act, so I've decided I don't.  I don't have cancer.  And when someone dies because of cancer, that doesn't have anything to do with me.  It's just another person God has called home in the way He decided to do it.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional.  I will still go every 30 days to see if the doctor is going to tell me it's time for chemo again, or the tumors are growing.  But to me, the cancer is like Satan.  If I refuse to let it get to me, then it won't.  It's a mind over matter thing.  God, please let it work.  Today, it is.  Tomorrow, we'll see.

God is love.